thecrossing

[Kel's current attachment to both siblings is far from healthy- he wants to keep both of them safe, even if he's barely able to take care of himself lately. As soon as the crossing tool is out in the wild? He gets up from his own shelter, letting out a groan, and starts moving toward Sunny and Mari's one.

If he's lucky, they're both there, otherwise he'll start looking around.

What else can he even do? The desert only offers so much and he has read every single comic he managed to find in that spot.

The Ferryman wants the memory of a place he considers safe, he... may be thinking of a few but he'd rather see what the others have to say before making any final decision. Ah, there it is, Sunny- Kel has to remind himself to smile this time and it does come out a bit strained, but he's still trying his best.]

Hey hey, buddy...

[Sunny was alone. Mari had stepped out, probably for some errand or another, but she would be back… sometime.

For now, he was alone. ‘Was’ being the key word, as Kel now stood in the doorway.]

Ah…

[A small noise left him. Really, he should stop being surprised. The amount of times he looked up and saw Kel in the doorway… it was constant. And it reminded him of those long three days before coming here.

He suspected that his friend was here to talk. Sunny would have thought he would send a message but… considering the fact that he wasn’t really going outside, it was probably better (for one of them) to talk in person.]

[Well, Kel was... Kel. He tried to reach out for his friends most of the time, now with a small group around, very little going on and everything being depressing... it got a bit out of hand. He was at least starting to trust Sunny not to do anything 'too stupid', not again. He had new friends around the place, plenty of people who seemed to like him so...

Kel could only worry about him and Mari a moderate amount, right?

Still, he hopped in, knowing very well he wanted to talk about important stuff.]

So... tool description is out. I was thinking a few things, but kind of wanted to check on you and Mari to see if, huh... not to overlap things? Maybe we can help each other remember?

[He didn't think it could work. His memories of Hero were completely gone and the more he wondered about this random guy the more he felt nothing in that sense, but at the same time... he and the siblings shared so many common places when they were growing up, maybe they could all work around each other's losses?]

you okay with me coming in?

[One could maybe say Sunny was living a moderate version of his Best Life here - aside from the existential dread he went through every now and then, and the fact that being near his sister was like a game of hot potato with his emotions.

…

Still, Kel had a point. Sunny already knew he would have to give something up to the Ferryman in order for them to protect him again, but he knew he wasn’t going to face the Crossing alone.

He just… wasn’t sure what classified as a happy and safe place anymore.

His eye trailed to the ground, though he did nod his approval. Kel could come in.]

[Best... life? Oh, kel would have bonked his head ~~without really hurting him~~ if he heard such thing. Hot potato with emotions was a good description of Kel's status around Sunny, but fortunately enough he masked things well enough.

At the nod, he stepped in, strutting like he had not a single care in the world and flopping down in front of the other with legs crossed, just out of arm reach.]

We got this, buddy. And we can play the puzzle game with each other, over there, and help each other remember. I was... thinking of a few places. Especially considering the three of us spent so much time together, there must be corners where we all.. well, that we share in this sense, right?

[The scene across from him was almost normal - Kel, sitting there, all bright and cheery (outwardly). All they needed was a game of cards… and Hero and Aubrey might join in.

Except they weren’t here…

He blinked, the afterimage of their brightly colored forms fading. Fidgeting somewhat, as he wasn’t sure exactly where Kel was going with this train of thought.]

Things… we all might remember…

[Kel was just desperately trying to hold onto their past. He couldn't just let it all go like it was nothing and since they all spent years together... this was his only idea?]

Yeah. Like- I don't know. A 'safe' place I may consider with you? Hobbez. Rememeber those wild nights spent reading comics trying not to be caught by Pedro? With Mari... the kitchen of your house.

[Hero was supposed to be part of those memories too, of course, but he was no longer part of the picture. Kel couldn't quite understand why he enjoyed spending time watching someone else cook, forgetting how both his brother and his 'sister in law' made him laugh all the time back there.]

But there were places the three of us spent time together. If... we can all find something we have in common- I mean. We could all help each other keep track of who we were, right?

[The mention of Hobbeez has Sunny almost smiling. That had been fun - even if Kel had been the one to have to convince Sunny that leaving the house so late had its own sort of adrenaline.

The kitchen… Mari loved to bake. Sunny tried to recall that… her cookies normally tasted so good, right? The strange thing about memories… they could carry sensory information. And where Sunny knew he should know what Mari’s cookies tasted like… he froze.

What had they tasted like?

That gap bothered him. Why couldn’t he…?

Shaking his head, he had to focus on the present. Even if that had him fidgeting again.]

It’s better… to not… [‘remember’ - was what he was going to say. But Sunny knew not everyone agreed with that. Even he couldn’t say that he 100% thought that. But… if he could forget the painful things, truly forget them, then wasn’t that better?]

[Hobbeez was the best, wasn't it? Oh, they were wild kids, as wild as two pre-teens in Faraway could be. Sneaking away at night to visit hobbeez, running away when everyone was making flower crowns... those were the good times. Kel's adventures, after a certain point, had to continue solo... but he still didn't just sit at home moping.

The memories he made with other friends, though... they didn't carry the same warmth as the ones that preceeded them.

For what Sunny said... Kel stopped. thinking. Did Sunny forget how easy it was for the teen in front of him to complete his sentences? As dumb as Kel liked to play, he did listen to his friends- both spoken and unspoken words.]

Is it truly so? I disagree... I want to remember my good times with you. And you may say 'but Kel, everyone wants to remember the good parts'. Yeah... but I also think the bad ones matter.

[Like dying while falling down with his own best friend, if he could even still call him so.]

They... shape you. They can help you learn things. They can help you become... stronger. [How could he even put into words certain things without elaborating on what he could remember that Sunny didn't?] And if some things hurt you so, so much... then you can hold that pain to your chest and, well, promise to yourself you can at least try to make sure others don't feel that kind of pain while you're on watch.

[A long, thoughtful pause. He was never going to discuss their death with Sunny, not in detail, but...]

I died a very quick death. But a rather intense one. I refuse to forget any of that, because it motivates me to try harder. No part of you is worth losing, Sunny. No part of my best friend I would like to see lost to nothingness if I could do anything about it.

[Those had been wild times, colored with the fun of youth and friendship. While Sunny’s memories had discolored after the incident… thinking back on them still gave him some sort of warmth. Even if it mixed with the constant presence of guilt.

It’s your fault that those days are gone. Tarnished.

He couldn’t think otherwise. It was the truth. So… sometimes it was easier to pretend the memories in his dreams were real.

Kel had known him for so long… so Sunny wasn’t surprised that his friend could pick up on what he had hesitated to say out loud.]

Mmm. [He could at least agree with Kel’s sentiment. Sunny would make sure nothing like that would happen again. That’s part of why he had secluded himself away, right?

The teen fidgeted with the corner of his vest. Kel… his death, however vague it was, didn’t sound pleasant. Sunny’s hadn’t been either. Was there even a pleasant way to die? Not that it mattered anymore…]

I don’t… [‘deserve it.’ Kel’s friendship, his care. Sure, they had met when they were young as next door neighbors in a close-knit town, but… Kel didn’t have any reason to stick by Sunny. Certainly after all of the years Sunny had been pushing him away.]

Edited 2025-03-26 13:01 (UTC)

[Those were the best times. Kel missed waking up ready to trot to Sunny's place just to eat good cookies and watch cartoons before having to go to school, he missed fighting with Aubrey over the smallest things without actually meaning anything really harsh, he missed seeing Basil's smile and he especially missed the warmth of the days he spent with was basically an extended family.

And, after more or less figuring out the truth, he didn't even know who to blame.

He was silent for the most part before reaching up with one hand, trying to place it over Sunny's shoulder. At least in part the other agreed, right? The 'I don't' leaves him pensive for a second because, let's face it, there are many ways that sentence could be completed- so he focuses on the body language.

Sunny looks tense, he's fidgeting, so whatever he tried to say must be something negative... right? that limits the choices for sure. He's taking his chances when he forces himself to smile as warmly as possible and talk.]

You do, Sunny. Trust me on this.

[Hopefully it's the right thing to say. If Kel suspected the other doubted their friendship, though? He'd definitely feel hurt. Betrayed, even.]

[Sunny… missed it. Those days. Even if there were hard times, even if he had to be pulled away to practice… he missed it.

But… there wasn’t any way to get that back, was there?

One thing hadn’t changed though: Kel had been there every step of the way, even the times that Sunny had tried pushing him away.

Maybe… for that reason… it wouldn’t be too bad for Sunny to believe his friend’s words?

~~If only for Kel’s sake. Sunny… wished he could, but he knew better.~~]

Mhmmm… [The nod he gave Kel was a bit softer, a little surer, even if his eye still swam with uncertainty. But… maybe Kel would continue to stick with him? At least until…]

Planning… [He forced the word out, a redirection on why Kel had presumably come here in the first place.]

[Kel would have given anything to go back, but there was just no way to do so. He missed being scolded by Basil for not washing his hands, to bicker with Aubrey over the smallest things, he missed showing Sunny how much he loved being his best friend and he missed Mari's company and... for a second he knew there was a hole there in his memories but the awareness disapppeared as quickly as it presented itself.

Basil was nowhere to be seen, now, and Kel couldn't guarantee he wouldn't snap at him if he shown his face- not after having to push him off another teen's ody. Aubrey? Aubrey better survive. It was just her and Basil left now, after all. And Sunny and Mari... he could only try to be a better friend now.

He couldn't abandon Sunny after learning o the other was suffering. Mari... he owed her after almost hating her for four years, thinking she abandone them, that she hurt..... someone? It didn't matter.]

Exactly! [Whatever he was agreeing to.] And yes. Planning. Huh. I was thinking of many places. My room. Your living room. The tThreehouse.... but those are mostly places you're not very familiar with or not attached to so... it sucks but I was considering to let memories of hobbeez go. after all, you were my partner in crime, the one who used to sneak with me there all the time. And Pedro... helped me when I needed it. Lots of good memories and memories yo're familiar with.

What aout you?

[The fact that Kel might not remember someplace that had been special to their group… for some reason, it didn’t sit well with Sunny.

It was alright for Sunny himself to forget something pleasant. He deserved that sort of punishment.

But Kel…?]

I… don’t know…

[It wasn’t a lie, Sunny would do that to Kel. But… someplace real or somewhere in his mind…?

What was actually considered ‘safe’? Sunny hadn’t felt safe, even in his own room, for a long time now. The reminders were always there, the dangers lurking just around the corner of a doorway…]

[As it didn't sit well for Kel to see his beloved friends lose their memories as well. Hobbeez felt safe, though, and it was a place that probably only mattered so deeply to him. If he lost it, he could hold close memories important for Sunny and Mari, cling to them, and help them remember as he could.

He had to be a good friend now.]

It's okay. We can talk about it, right? And wait for Mari too so we all choose together.

[He adjusted his weight and crossd his legs on a comfortable position enough to lean forward and try to be in the other's field of view as he tried to flash a reassuring smile.]

want me to try to brainstorm some locations with you?

[But how much more could Kel give before there was nothing left? Nothing except a faded memory…?

Sunny was used to seeing his friend in an idealized, remembered childhood version amongst his dreams. But to see Kel somehow reduced to less than that, if he kept pushing…

The teen let out a breath that might have been a sigh. He could at least relent a bit on brainstorming. Would… that be bad?]

[Kel was possibly the only one who lost two major sources of joy in his life, both his siblings, but at the same time he was more than willing to give all he still had as long as he could remember the two siblings.

And even then, he had someone ready to remind him that he devoted what was left of him to them.

If anything went wrong, at least Sunny still had his headspace friend, right? The simple idea of having either Sunny or Mari turn in his direction without recognizing him- that was something scarier than any possible future prospect. He had to protect what he could, he was simply not strong enough to face such a thing.]

Okay... huh.. I think we can start from your room, right? You've been there for a long long time, that was a safe space... right? Just a starting suggestion..

[It was a good suggestion though… Sunny shook his head, his gaze trailing to the side.

His room… his bed allowed him to sleep, to go someplace safe, but… there was always a reminder there.

A room that used to fit two, now only one. The beady eyes of the stuffed animals nearby… the corners where shadows hid.

No… it wasn’t safe… not truly…]

[Not the room. The room was not 'safe'? Maybe bad memories? Maybe too much associated to... Mari? Kel Kept his smile on and nodded-

No room. Got it.

What other places could Sunny consider safe enough?]

What about... my house? I know it well enough and nothing bad happened there, right?

[Then again it was just a random place that KEL considered safe and he hoped all his friends considered a shelter in case of need back then. 'basil's garden' almost came to his lips but he did manage to stop himself in time.]

There's... no, I don't think the church works anymore after our scuff with Aubs, huh?

[And Sunny almost died in the hangout spot, like Basil.]

Gino's a good place? Best pizza, no bad memories. Nothing negative... right? Or we have the treehouse? I'm sorry, I'm just trying to do some brainstorming here, you know your heart better than any of us do.

[As Kel rattled off some good suggestions, Sunny responded in turn.

No, Kel’s house was someplace he felt welcome, but… it didn’t feel right.

Church didn’t work. (Sunny hadn’t felt anything resembling a passing welcome there in years.)

Gino’s… while there were good memories there, it didn’t feel like a strong enough memory.

The treehouse… that gave him an idea. One that he hesitated on for a moment. Celehar’s own musings came back to him, but when Sunny spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper…]

What about… someplace… fake…?

[Someplace fake to everyone else - though the places in Sunny’s mind, while fabricated, had been his safety net. The treehouse was… Neighbor’s Room. But… would he want to give that up? A place that felt safe and ‘real’ to him, despite the bright colors and fabrication, or a place from reality…?]

[Something... fake.

It somehow felt painful to know Sunny didn't feel truly comfortable in any of the places Kel tried to list, places he once considered comforting and now missed dearly. If he was in any better mood, he'd joke about how much he missed Gino's pizza and how not even the pain and bathroom hours that followed his trips there were going to stop him from ordering a four cheeses pizza.

BUt Sunny... Sunny felt comfortable only in a fake space? Awful, just awful. The teen shifted nervoursly before offering a small nods.]

We should ask the Ferryman, but if this place makes you happy and safe... I think so?

[He hated being unable to help in this but...

He let out a small sigh, crossing his legs and leaning forward a bit, elbows resting on his own knees.]

Would you be comfortable telling me or Mari about it? So we can remember it for you? It must be quite the special place if you were feeling all safe in there.

[The notion of sharing his innermost dreams with anyone makes him nervous. It pools anxiety hit and cloying in his throat, a pounding in his head but…

Kel wouldn’t laugh. Sunny knows that. Kel was accepting and had always stuck by him, no matter what they did. Even the Kel is Sunny’s mind was quick to support him.

So maybe…]

…like the treehouse… [His voice comes out small, an embarrassed mutter as he tries to figure out where to start.]

Edited 2025-04-11 13:04 (UTC)

[As if Kel could find anything remotely fun in... all of that. He could have chuckled about it, back home, but after all that happened? He was determined to keep a smile on his face and do his best to be warm and supportive with both siblings, no matter what-

So... a warm expression was what he kept on his face.]

Well, that's a good starting point, isn't it? The threehouse was a bit like everyone's home away from home back then so...

[A good 'fake' place where to be. A place that didn't exist, yet Sunny treasured more than those where he spent time with them all- in a certain sense it stung.]

Well then- Treehouse shaped, right? Want to tell me more? I'm a bit at disadvantage, here, considering you *do* know, at least, what Hobbeez is like.

[If Sunny had known how much it stung - and in a way, it was part of why he hesitated talking about this - he might have mentioned that Kel was also a part of that safe dreamscape.

They all were. Even Mari.

The sudden upheaval of their lives four years ago had left Sunny even more determined to steep himself in comforting memories, no matter how fake.

But Kel wasn’t laughing. Of course he wasn’t. He even wanted to hear more - and that had Sunny hesitantly opening up.]

It’s… a room… with cards… and a tv… and a toaster…

[Simply items, and yet Kel might remember their real world Treehouse counterparts from the numerous hours they had spent there.]

[Oh, please- there were so many things regarding Sunny that now broke his heart that this was merely a drop in a large bucket. Kel always wanted to find a way to make those he loved happy and he couldn't help but feel like he was a failure in this sense, at least after Sunny... did what he did back home. And Kel failed to stop him in time.

Still, knowing that at least a version of him kept being friends with Sunny would have been nice. All of them, happy in a place existing only in Sunny's dreams... it sounded sweet at least. And, hey, at least the Kel in Sunny's mind still loved and adored Hero, no matter how the two siblings were... siblings. Right?]

That does sound familiar. Very much like the treehouse we shared, it's good to hear a place we built together is still dear to you, I remember dragging that television up there and be so disappointed when I realized that without electricity it wasn't going to work.

Still, you do speak of a 'fake' place, so it must be different and unique, right?

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The real question is whether to give up a Sunny memory or start blanking out Headspace XD

It truly is a difficult question. I MEAN headspace is cool.

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THAT STRIKETHROUGH T.T

WHAT HAPPENED TO MEWO, SUNNY?