Hey, I didn't twist anything, alright? It wasn't even my idea. I was—
[It's brief, a clenched-jaw catch in his train of thought. That's a rookie mistake, to let himself think about the first time he died, because from there it's a short leap to what made him decide to stay: all the grief and pain and love he didn't realize was there. He's done that to them again, only now there's no escape hatch.
He can't think about that and hold himself together, so he doesn't. He catches it, presses it back down where it belongs, and keeps going.]
I was ready to go, the first time. They offered.
[He was, of course, not ready to go the first time, he just thought he was. The idea that this might also apply the second time hasn't yet occurred to him.]
no subject
Hey, I didn't twist anything, alright? It wasn't even my idea. I was—
[It's brief, a clenched-jaw catch in his train of thought. That's a rookie mistake, to let himself think about the first time he died, because from there it's a short leap to what made him decide to stay: all the grief and pain and love he didn't realize was there. He's done that to them again, only now there's no escape hatch.
He can't think about that and hold himself together, so he doesn't. He catches it, presses it back down where it belongs, and keeps going.]
I was ready to go, the first time. They offered.
[He was, of course, not ready to go the first time, he just thought he was. The idea that this might also apply the second time hasn't yet occurred to him.]