thecrossing

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[The Crossing is coming again.

There is no advance warning from The Ferryman this time. There is nothing to draw your attention towards the message that appears on your device, whatever it may be, except perhaps the expectation that it should be appearing soon.

Whether you think to check for it or you simply stumble upon it, the words are there just as before:]

A toll to be levied for safe passage
from the desert to ǝɹǝɥʍǝsʅǝ

envision a place of comfort and safety
a haven from the wants and ills of life
be it for a moment or for a lifetime

offer it to The Ferryman
and let go

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[Celehar’s words were true.

‘For many.’

And yet Sunny wasn’t one of those to be included in such a group. That wasn’t it… it was…

His sole gaze trailed to the side, focusing on something nondescript.]

I don’t… [The teen paused, hesitating, wondering if saying the words out loud would help to unknot the throbbing bundle in his chest even a little.] …know what that is.

[Sunny’s memories might have been happy once, but after the incident four years ago, everything had been greyed, a monotone world that had lost all color.]

[There are many ways that anyone can die before their time, not all of them a result of having a hard life, just a tragic one. But Celehar's impression of the younger members of their collection is that they are, for the most part, the kind of people who have lived hard lives. He recognizes it in Sunny, particularly - the young man reminds him of some of the children at the Foundling school, quiet and wearing a perpetually hunted expression.

His voice and demeanor don't lend themself well to gentleness, but he does his best.]

There is not somewhere in your life you felt safe?

[While others might be put off by Celehar’s demeanor, his quiet way of conducting himself, it was something that Sunny found almost comforting.

Like finding a piece of himself outside of his own existence.

At the elf’s question, the teen seemed to fold in on himself.]

Not anywhere… real…

[So often he can hear echoes of his own thoughts in Sunny's words - he does not envy the young man the life he must have led to have such an answer to the question.

He considers this, for a moment. Need has given him her take on all this, which involves focusing simply on the 'momentary' part of it. Celehar takes a different tack.]

The toll only asks us envision one.

[Sunny blinked, taking in the meaning of Celehar’s words.

That… was true…

But… could he give up a place in Headspace? There was only one that he felt safe at, one where a limited number of safe people could go… where they waited for him…

What would that do, if he gave it up?

The teen’s brows knit together as he thought.]

Does that mean… everyone could… make something up…?

[It was a loophole if so. Sunny was pretty sure the other people here weren’t as integrated to their own fictional dreams as he was, but… the mind was a powerful and dangerous thing. Convince yourself enough of something and it would become true…]

[Celehar mulls over that for a little while.] I suppose... if that is the safety we find it in ourselves to conjure, then that is what we will pay.

The toll is something we must pay genuinely. It is not a technicality to be overcome.

[The corners of Celehar's mouth twitch down, but he shakes his head, not lecturing further on that account.]

[Sunny nodded, agreeing with at least half of that statement.

They could make their own safety… though he doubted anyone else might have reason to. Still… it was maybe something he could share with the others?

As for the toll being something that ‘was a technicality not to be overcome’… Sunny thought it was.

They had to face their own memory last time. Would this time be the same? Maybe…]

This time… safe place… might be… safer…?

[There's no getting out of facing it, as far as Celehar's concerned - he's quite sure the dodging of the toll will catch up to them, and just the prospect has him giving a frown. He's worried, for the more stubborn among them.]

And yet still he stamps it down. ]

It may be different. The essence is the same, but the memories, it seems, will be different - and therefore, the experience of letting them go.

[There was no fear in sidestepping the toll for Sunny: he trusted the Ferryman, and (maybe even more) he wanted to give memories up.

…Even when a certain conundrum of which applied in this instance.

Celehar was right though.

The teen nods in response.]

What… will you… do?

[He looks uncertainly at the man, almost wishing he could take the words back. Memories were painful, even happy ones. Sunny’s own ‘happy’ memories were tainted, tinged in shadow… what if Celehar was the same?]

I will pay the toll.

[It's an immediate answer, though Celehar keeps his voice quiet, thoughtful. A touch wistful behind the rasp, despite his best intentions. He pulls out the notebook, turning to the page where the Ferryman's message can still be found.]

It need only be a momentary safety... that, at least, one might find.

[Sunny nods, feeling almost relief at Celehar’s admission. Good, he wouldn’t be hurt…

The teen tilts his head slightly, gaze curious as he looks at Celehar’s notebook.]

‘Momentary’…?

[Celehar steps in closer, tilting the notebook so that Sunny might see the message and remind himself of the contents of it.]

Conjuring even a moment of peace is enough.

There was an Orshaneize maze that I went to once, when I needed to clear my mind. They grow corn, and form a path between it - when I went, the harvest had already happened, but the maze's path remained.

[A moment…]

So we don’t… have to erase… a whole place…?

[Wow, that was a lot of words. It almost left Sunny winded. But… the distinction was important. He also wondered…]

How could you… tell…?

[Sunny thought, if you chopped down a maze, then there would be no path left. It was like knocking down a wall with a door in it - instead of having to use the door, one could just walk through wherever the wall had been.]

Where the maze was? It was outlined with stones, and the path was marked out by the feet that had traveled it.

[Not a maze he could remember the turns of, but the purpose of it had never been to be a place one could get lost in. It was a place to make pilgrimage, though few did so when the harvest was in, as Celehar had.]

You need not lose anything you are not ready to give up.

[That… made sense, now that Celehar explained it. If he closed his eyes, he could almost see the well-trod paths and stone walkways… Maybe something sat at the end. Treasure, a Wise Rock…

Oh, but he shouldn’t do that, right?

Sunny nodded, if only to get his brain back on track and to give Celehar an indication that he had heard him.

‘You need not lose anything you are not ready to give up’…]

…Sound like… the Ferryman…

[Sunny meant it as a compliment, the fact that both the elf and their guide put him at ease.]

[For some reason the comparison has Celehar unaccountably flustered, if only for a moment.]

I suppose they must have said so, before I. Certainly it is in their remit to offer such words, being our guide.

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