Post Crossing Meeting

[knockingatthedoor]

WHO: Kel and anyone who wants to discuss The Crossing
WHAT: Second 'Town Meeting'
WHERE: Oasis
WHEN: A bit after the crossing, when everyone has time to calm down and breathe.
WARNINGS Talks of death, definitely, mention of blood and wounds, other CWs to be added.

[Kel has seen people scatter around and, despite still acting like a foolish fool around Mari and Sunny... he is doing his best to try to coordinate things as he can. Armed with a set bright of pink pencils, definitely merchandise of the Sweetheart brand from his place, he prepared a whole wall in one of the shelters to work as a rough chalkboard and, written on it, there are his few observations from staying behind.

- Nothing beside the wraiths did show up. What are we running from?
- Ferryman honest or not?
- When you don't pay the tool, you may still lose memories
- Our bodies can get hurt as if we're still alive.
- Discussion About Crossing from both sides?

It's not much but try to get stuff to appear properly on a blank wall when all you have is a bunch of pencils that don't even write that well. He's trying, though, he really is. A message is sent out to everyone after he's done gathering enough pillows for everyone to sit in, inviting people to come and share experiences, and... that's all. He did, at least, prepare water for everyone to drink.... it's somethin, right?

"Why, thank you for coming! Take a seat, mingle and let's get down to businesses!"

OOC: This is a mingle thread. Feel free to interact with each other and have discussions about things. The 'chalkboard' will be updated if anything is brought up to Kel's attention, I'll leave an open post for that.

Comments

[urtitan]

[Kelsey?! His proper given name is Kelsey? She didn't know that!!

Of course, that small surprise quickly takes a backseat as she listens attentively. Hearing that Sunny didn't leave his house for 4 years is a big shock. She didn't know that! What happened? Did his anxiety get the better of him? Or was is something else?

For Sunny to have lost his eye due to another friend's mental breakdown makes it so much worse. Just what had happened between all these young people for them to be so psychologically damaged? When Kel's stoy culminates in Sunny's apparent suicide and his own fatal failed attempt so save him, she hardly knows what to say... until he starts blaming himself for what happened.]

Kel, it's not your fault. That's simply not true. You sacrificed your own life trying to save Sunny, and the outcome was out of your control. You did all you could.

[If she remembered the memory she gave up for a safe Crossing, she'd feel like a hypocrite saying these things - but she can't remember the crushing guilt of having forsaken her people for the sake of the outside world, and that allows her to speak clearly and calmly.]

I don't know what caused them - Sunny and your mutual friend - to have been in such a bad state of mind, but I don't want you to blame yourself for what happened.

[knockingatthedoor]

[Well, it's not like he ever really uses his real full name. It's just something that kind of... happens when he's trying to be overly silly. If he wanted to go over the top, he'd even add the middle name, but that was merely a jest to amuse Frieda a bit and... make things a bit less tense, at least for himself.

Sunny will end up hating him for sharing so much, he can already tell, but... he doesn't think he's good enough to keep the other safe. And Mari is there too, which... certainly adds a lot of feelings to the plate. He may not remember she used to be his brother's special person, but she still is family.

The teen brings one hand to his chest, his voice cracking just a bit.]

But it is! I keep saying I'm so fast, so strong, and I couldn't be fast when it mattered! He was hurt, he lost blood, he lost one eye, he was probably... so confused! So lost! And I should have been there for him!

[He knows Sunny took his own life, yet it feels more... right if he pretends to believe otherwise. No one else needs to know how deeply that whole mess went.]

I- I have a vague idea but it doesn't matter. That being said. It... it also doesn't matter how I feel. What matters is- how much of this does Sunny even remember? Did he lose a memory before crossing or not? We're the.... as far as I know we're maybe the only two who can control each other's memories- [He still doesn't know about Nagito and Makoto] And I'm too much of a coward to.... ask.

[urtitan]

[If nothing else, Frieda is good at keeping secrets - the one about the truth of her world, she took to her grave. (Now, of course, over half her fellow souls here know.)

Hearing Kel's denial about Sunny's suicide steepens her frown, but she doesn't say anything. What good would it do to force him to confront it? Besides, on some level, he must know. He's smart and perceptive. Chances are it's simply too painful to face.

His mention of him and Sunny being the only two who can control each other's memories confused her. What does he mean, "control"? That aside, though, the way he believes that his feelings don't matter in the face of assessing what Sunny remembers... that reminds her of herself, back when she was 15. "Leave it to me, father! I won't give in to the ghosts of our ancestors!"

She'll get back to the plan, but she simply needs to address it.]

...

Kel, I don't say this to be cruel to you, but if you always saw yourself as fast and strong, as the one who'll save the day, and then you couldn't do it in the end, then maybe you weren't as fast and strong as you thought. I made the same mistake. I thought I could save everyone, back home. I thought I'd be stronger than my uncle and grandfather had been, and... I wasn't. I failed in a much worse way than you did. So please, don't blame yourself for failing. Blame yourself for taking on more than you could handle, if you must blame yourself for something.

[knockingatthedoor]

[If he could remember, he'd know why her words hurt even more than he would expect them to. He has always been the brother who wasn't 'good enough', at least according to the family. Hero was the perfect one, Hero was the wonderful prodigy of the family, Hero was the handsome one between them while Kel's aunts commented about his scruffy looks- he was the one 'not good enough', he had always been. And while memories were gone, the feelings still klingered.

As for control- more like 'check with each other' since as far as Kel knew? They arrived there together, they died together- like the besties they were, at least in his mind, always supposed to be. And Sunny didn't give him any indication that they weren't from the same.. time. Or world.]

Ah...

[He did force a smile back on his face. They weren't distant enough fro the meeting for him to drop his guard, but for someone right in front of im the bitterness was clear in his expression.]

All I hear then is that I have to become stronger. I must protect him now, Frieda. And his sister too. If I'm not the strongest now, I'll become strong enough now- and protect them as long as my memory allows me to. [It hurts, it hurts and it hurts facing her words and knowing she's right, but what else could he even do or think?] I'm... sorry you had to deal with something similar. I really am. I'm sure you tried your best, Frieda, you've been nothing but a good person around this place and group.

[urtitan]

[His take-away from her admonishment impresses her: Rather than acknowledge that he took on too much, he simply resolves to grow strong enough to fulfill his self-chosen duty here in the afterlife. Seeing that for her, that option is out of reach - after all, her people aren't here with her - fills her with envy for a moment, but at his kind words, she lowers her eyes, humbled.]

Thank you. But...

["I'm not a good person", she wants to correct, but wouldn't that be a slap in the faces of Sunny and Mari and everyone else who learned of her horrible secret and still kept seeing the good in her, focusing on her intent rather than the outcome that had already been set in stone a century ago? She sadly shakes her head.]

My ambition is forever out of reach now. So instead, let me support yours. I'll help you look out for Mari and Sunny, if you allow. You're right - they're still here for you to protect. All is not lost.

[Not yet, in any case. It is as Kel said: Who knows how long their memories will remain? But perhaps they'd still support and protect each other if they all became strangers. After all, that was the situation for most of them here from the outset.]

[knockingatthedoor]

[What should he even do? There's nothing impressive there, if you ask him: he messed up, he wasn't good enough, but crying over it instead of just trying to be better... it wouldn't help anyone. She's the one who knows how they died and he will probably not share it again unless something forces him to.

Instead he steps closer, bringing his hands to her shoulders should she allow the contact.]

Then build new ones. I know we're in a difficult situation, but where a dream ends, we can build another if the old one is unreachable, right? [Too positive? too much. he knows that. But he's trying his best and he can't sound too smart.] I'm sorry your ambitions are out of reach now, but I'm certain your efforts were not for naugh. For what it's worth... thank you for trying your best.

[He knows nothing of titans or such, but he has the most positive impression of her and... he would rather *not* dimish her efforts. that being said, perhaps he can give her some extra motivation by accepting her help in this?]

Well- [A wink and a smile as he forces his own distress down.] I would love to have a person like you 'on the case' so to speak. I'm not... good at protecting them. The fact they're here is proof of that. But... I'm at least good at working with other people.

[urtitan]

[His hands on her shoulders are comforting, but his words, encouraging as they're meant to be, make her lower her head. What dream could live up to the one she dreamed as a child, the one of freedom for her people?

When he expresses his certainty that she did her best, she shakes her head. Her efforts were for naught - that's what makes it so crushing, the knowledge that nothing changed during her reign and nothing will change now, after her death, because one of her siblings is sure to have succeeded her and fallen to their ancestor's vow just as she did. (Of course, that delusion is still easier to stomach than the now-forgotten truth.)]

I can't build a new dream so easily, not on the ruins of the last one. It was a big dream, you know? A dream for a whole nation. So for now, just let me support you.

[Soft as her voice is, she realises that her rejection of his encouragement must be dismaying. Alas, right now, she can't offer him more.]