Handwritten cursive in your notebooks

[marblenest]

As much as I am loathe to admit it, we will have to move on from what small bits of safety and comfort this place has brought us. I do believe we should discuss our plans for the coming crossing openly. Consider this a place to drop your thoughts on the idea. Might as well start planning earlier rather than later.

Unless you have a good reason to I strongly suggest that you do not take the crossing alone. There is safety in numbers.

I would like to also get a head count of who all is with us if possible. I have heard about some of us going missing and I find this rather disturbing so I find it pertinent to double check.

The floor is open.

Comments

[knockingatthedoor]

[Kel remembers dying, Don. He's one of the people who may have a most lucid vision of it because he was mentally there when he fell and he saw it coming. He never expected to survive it. He wishes he could be as optimistic as the doctor, but...]

It never felt like they were, honestly. I just don't understand their motives and I just don't believe in this 'helpful spirit' stuff.

Yeah. We just have limited time because if we keep losing our real life we will eventually... not even remember where we're from or why we try to keep things together.

I also have a very big question: the ferryman said we cannot pay with memories from here. So what happens once all our memories are gone? Are we just denied... to cross?

[marblenest]

I don't either. Though I think if they were to kill us outright they would have done so a lot sooner.

[ Dankovsky remembers his own death too ok. Denial is a strong pill. ]

We continue to cross and burn through memories. We must be going somewhere. Perhaps when all of our memories are gone, that is when we will get to somewhere safe.

[ This is too optimistic, even for him. Dankovsky thinks Kel might be right, that once they run out of memories, perhaps they'll just become another wraith. But he's not going to share that morose thought with Kel. ]

[knockingatthedoor]

Well, hard to kill what's already dead. I can't remember the last time I checked and found my own pulse. And out of actually talking I think I stopped breathing a while ago, it's like even instincts of 'living' are fading on my part. I doubt they can do much worse, right?

[A pause, there. He's going to say what Dan is not bringing up. Because that's what Kel started fearing from their very first crossing.]

Considering we keep losing and traveling in places where people seem to be just 'gone'? I wouldn't be surprised if there's nowhere really safe and we're just delaying the inevitable. Which is why I think we need to have at least a few people not doing what the Ferryman wants us to.

I refuse to let Mari and Sunny turn into those... things without putting up a good fight.

[marblenest]

[ He feels something inside of him break. Hopelessness floods over him. Dankovsky has to figure out how to prove that they're all still alive, somehow, he just has to. ]

Why does everyone still believe we are dead? Nothing here makes any sense.

[ This writing looks more frantic. ]

I don't know. But I don't want you amongst the people who are staying behind. I will do so in your stead.

[knockingatthedoor]

It's not really rocket science, man... I remember dying. Yes, this doesn't match any of my religious beliefs, but I couldn't possibly survive what killed me and another person. Plus, I do tend to get very cold until I stop thinking 'wait, my skin should be warm'.

[There's a blink, there. It takes Kel a bit to type his reoply on the brick of a device he got.]

Why? I'm no one for and I'm the fast one. I promise I will be fine. I just wish I had some clues on what to investigate.

[marblenest]

[ He's sighing at his book. Almost unsure of what to write. Did everyone but him remember dying so clearly? To him, it was a blur, he remembers a gunshot, falling over, someone apologizing and running away, and then- ]

Because I cannot continue to allow the ones who should be protected to take on all the burden.

[ It's because you're a child, Kel. He's treating you like you're a child. ]

[knockingatthedoor]

[Kel wishes he didn't- but it's something he can't get out of his mind instead.]

Sunny and Mari should be protected. I don't need that, really.

[He doesn't deserve that after failing to protect Sunny to begin with. He may have died as well but- between not remembering why he thinks he isn't '''good enough''' in so many ways (thanks, family) and his guilt? Kel isn't being too kind to himself.]

Maybe you could keep an eye on them for me? I know I am asking this to everyone, but they mean everything to me.

[marblenest]

Of course I will, but, you know, those two people would want you to be safe as well. You deserve the same amount of care.

[ Hypocritical, that it's Dankovsky being the one to write this, but damnit Kel he's not just going to let you talk about yourself like that. ]

[knockingatthedoor]

I am aware but...

[There's a little voice in his head saying 'you are not as good as-' and it's so similar to his parents' that Kel for a moment has to push it back.]

I am a bit rougher around the edges than them. I will be fine and I promise I don't need protection. An ally when we'll eventually reach our 'time to run for our dear life' time of the crossing though...