thecrossing | Post Crossing Meeting

Post Crossing Meeting

WHO: Kel and anyone who wants to discuss The Crossing
WHAT: Second 'Town Meeting'
WHERE: Oasis
WHEN: A bit after the crossing, when everyone has time to calm down and breathe.
WARNINGS Talks of death, definitely, mention of blood and wounds, other CWs to be added.

[Kel has seen people scatter around and, despite still acting like a foolish fool around Mari and Sunny... he is doing his best to try to coordinate things as he can. Armed with a set bright of pink pencils, definitely merchandise of the Sweetheart brand from his place, he prepared a whole wall in one of the shelters to work as a rough chalkboard and, written on it, there are his few observations from staying behind.

- Nothing beside the wraiths did show up. What are we running from?
- Ferryman honest or not?
- When you don't pay the tool, you may still lose memories
- Our bodies can get hurt as if we're still alive.
- Discussion About Crossing from both sides?

It's not much but try to get stuff to appear properly on a blank wall when all you have is a bunch of pencils that don't even write that well. He's trying, though, he really is. A message is sent out to everyone after he's done gathering enough pillows for everyone to sit in, inviting people to come and share experiences, and... that's all. He did, at least, prepare water for everyone to drink.... it's somethin, right?

"Why, thank you for coming! Take a seat, mingle and let's get down to businesses!"

OOC: This is a mingle thread. Feel free to interact with each other and have discussions about things. The 'chalkboard' will be updated if anything is brought up to Kel's attention, I'll leave an open post for that.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[They ARE important memories. Kel already cares about many of the new people he met there, Frieda is someone he feels he can trust, too, but the teen is just... he looks at her, glances in Sunny's direction since he's the only one there right now, and then returns his attention to her.

The pause is long, but she proved herself as a friend (?) and she's been mature about many things. And she seems to be the only one who did notice him being upset, even if he mostly... acts serious at best around others, but never like too many things are bothering him.]

Because... I'm scared, I guess? [That's a whisper.] The feeling right here - [He pushes back just enough to press one hand against his own chest.] It's love. And this person was... important to me too. I just... I don't want to reach a day when I'll look at them without recognizing them. I dread the thought of reaching another destination and being treated as a stranger.

[The simple thought makes him sick.]

Whover I forgot? It was important to me. And now it's just... nothing. I don't like this, Frieda. I'm not good at this 'letting go' shit.

[She's honoured by his trust, truly. Perhaps it's just a matter of them both being (or acting as) big siblings that she can easily see through his brave and ever-chipper facade - not that she considers him a deceiver, no, just a protector, a boy who wants to make others feel safe without needing to worry about him. But he, too, deserves to express his exhaustion, worries, and fears.

As such, she's both relieved and pained when he proceeds to do eactly that. "Love"... he forgot a really important person, then. It feels so bad to not be able to do anything. If she still had her inherited powers, and he were one of her people, she could see into his mind with a simple touch and, just maybe, retrieve the lost memories... but given the unspoken contracts of this underworld, chances are that even she wouldn't be able to find them there anymore.]

...

I'm sorry for what you lost, Kel. But for what it's worth, I can't imagine that any of you three would give away your memories of each other. Those are memories you'll all want to hold on to until the very end, I'm sure of it.

[And if, ultimately, there's no other way, then she's certain that they'll align themselves to lose their last memories of each other together - but she desperately hopes that it won't come to that.]

This is making me realise that I want to hold on to my memories of everyone here until the very end, too.

Edited 2025-02-25 18:00 (UTC)

[It is the big sis vibes that make him lower his guard, probably. He missed his brother back home even if he was still alive -and, man, he did love Hero but things had never been truly the same since a certain accident- and now both his siblings had been taked from his mind- perhaps Kel was in part unconsciously trying to fill a void? Who knew. He wants to help otehrs more than anything else, but... he has his own worries.

And her words would be reassuring in any other moment but...]

I didn't choose to give away any memory, Frieda. It was taken from me. And... and I think Sunny lost some too, before the crossing. He... I'm not sure about that and I can't ask but... what if we lose memories regardless?

[But that's not something he can bring up too freel without explaining that he and Sunny were together when they died. And since Sunny doesn't seem to remember, Kel is not very inclined to bring up why he would not give anything to keep the other safe- from his point of view, it is his fault if they're both dead.]

I want to hold onto my memories too. Maybe the next meeting... could be about sharing memories? For those who feel like it? To have someone else at least try to preserve bits about ourselves?

[She simply assumed that, given his bad experience, Kel wouldn't attempt a Crossing on his own again, and accordingly she wants to assure him that he won't lose any more memories uncontrollably - but then, he mentions that Sunny, who was with the Ferryman's group, lost memories he didn't volunteer, too, and that gives her pause.

But as he continues, she ends up addressing his suggestion first.]

I'd like that. I... already shared more than anyone wanted to hear, I'm sure, about my world during the Crossing, but to share the pleasant things... that would be a good use of our time here.

[Getting together in the evenings, when the day's heat subsides, and exchanging tales from different worlds - tales to remember for each other - is a comforting mental image.]

But you said Sunny lost memories, too? Even though he was with my group?

[He may or may not attempt more on his own, at least for the sake of keeping track of what happens outside the group... but not now. He's not ready yet. There's a long pause before he nods against her shoulder.]

I'll focus on that next, then. I'm not really good at handling group things but I can prepare them at least. I mean, this... today's reunion is working, right? I'll figure something out, maybe shift some crappy party game to be memory themed and see how it goes.

[He pulls back, then, crossing his arms in an almost defensive state. He doesn't know much about their situation but from Kel's point of view? He and Sunny both died and arrived in the river together, but only one of them seems to remember what was their last bit of life.]

I... uhm... before the crossing, actually. Maybe we can... find a more private place? I don't... want ... you know.

[Sunny is right there with them in the room, after all.]

[She wants to argue that he's very good at organising these meetings, and that he should be proud of himself for taking the initiative rather than downplay his efforts, but the other matter takes priority.

Likewise glancing at Sunny, without making it too obvious, she nods quietly. Luckily, a couple more people arrive in that moment, hopefully making it somewhat less obvious that they're about to slip away together (of course, if Kel wants to greet the others first, she'll patiently wait).

Once outside, she puts her sunhat on and steps into the shadow of the shelter next door (after making sure that nobody's inside), then resumes the conversation.]

Before the Crossing? That shouldn't be possible... that'd mean...

[She lowers her voice to the faintest whisper.]

That'd mean that we can't trust the Ferryman - or that there's a third way of losing memories, other than paying the toll and being injured by the wraiths during the Crossing.

[He would disagree with that, as far as he knows he's just tossing stuff around and keepign his eyes open but people are doing most of the work on their own. THere isn't mush work involved in preparing a room to be comfortable and then sending messages around to ask people to come over and talk. Which is something he believes they all should do more often.

The whole 'not talking about problems' is what, in his opining, landed him in that problem to begin with.

Kel grins idely and waves to the newcomers, like nothing is wrong, mumbles something about checking something outside and coming back soon. Sunny is right there, Mari may arrive at any moment so... he's not taking risks.]

Yeah, I... huh....

[HIs voice is still low and he has no sunhat to use, but the smile is still there.]

I noticed it when we arrived. I... we died together. He was literally between my arms. But he seemed... surprised to see me here? I was waiting and looking for him and he seemed... surprised.

[He shifts uncomfortably.]

I've not been brave enough to ask but... that felt like a memory dead on arrival so, you know, I wonder if we're losing more than the Ferryman is telling us.

[That revelation makes her eyes go wide at first, then she frowns as she considers the implications. ]

...

There are only two possibilities, the way I see it. Either he really lost that memory - whether it was taken, or his mind just suppressed it without outside interference, which I heard can happen -, or...

[She hesitates for a moment before finishing that thought.]

Or he somehow came from a different timeline than you.

[That latter theory sounds fantastical even to her, but at this rate, she's already come to accepts that there are many worlds, if not universes, out there, so the concept of different timelines or dimensions or whatever it ought to be called doesn't seem as far-fetched as it should.]

There's only one way to find out.

[Someone has to ask Sunny - and since Kel isn't comfortable doing that, she's indirectly volunteering.]

[He nods a couple of times, even if Kel still refuses to believe in thiose... multiple timelines thing. There are just... so many things that feel wrong with that and good for other Kels if they're still alive but he's not and as far as he cares it's 'this kel's fate' that matters to him.]

His own mind suppressing it is another thing I considered but... I don't even know how to ask him. He's strong in his own ways, but he also can lock out people if he feels too tense and I'm not... I don't want him to push me away.

[At least he's being honest in that, right? He cares deeply about Sunny and the idea of losing him in a place like this. But he gets her request and... someone's gotta trust the people living in that place, right?]

Would you be comfortable with learning... how we passed, then? I can add... context, to see how much of Sunny's words will match mines.

[If they're losing memories outside the crossing they should know, right?]

[She nods, understanding full well what he means. She's seen how withdrawn Sunny can be much of the time. It's only recently that he's been acting more lively around her... something she might jeopardise by asking him about something as upsetting as his death.

But Kel's relationship with Sunny takes priority over hers, she feels. They've been close for perhaps their whole lives, while she only got to know Sunny in the afterlife.]

Please, tell me what you remember. But... if it's too much, you don't have to do it now.

[After all, the meeting is about to begin.]

Hey hey hey, there's no 'too much' for someone like Kelsey!

[He at least sounded confident, there. Still, he worried to get things out, to talk so he had to at least choose his words to make Sunny look as... well, less guilty as possible.

He really treasures how Sunny is starting to bond with others and he'd rather not risk losing any of that to... his own insecurities.]

Jokes aside, there.... is a lot that went down. Sunny didn't leave his house in four years and, well, before moving away I finally convince him to come outside. It was... three intense days. It ended with one of our friends having a mental breakdown and stabbing Sunny, that's how he... you know...

[He tapped his own right eye. No need to get into nasty details, there, right?]

Both he and Sunny got hospitalized. Slept for a week, both of them. And... huh... one day I went for a drink, after being there for a few hours, and noticed Sunny walking toward the roof. [He was skipping so many details but he also didn't feel like elaborating much further on that.] I followed. I saw him near an unprotected part of the balcony and I... saw him fall. I tried to grab him but I went down with him. And I tried to... shield him, but the fall was too high.

[The fact that he's a teen who's dealing with unpleasant memories is evident, for once, as he raises up one hand to cover his mouth as he glances to the side. It's... hard to admit it, but...]

It's my fault he's dead. I wasn't fast or strong enough and he died. That's why I- [He bit his own lips] He used to be my best friend, I don't know how or why he's... I... the simple fact he doesn't hate me tells me he doesn't... remember.

[Hard to talk about it. The teen scratches his nose, he could add so much more but in the end he focuses on something important.]

I... if I ever forget, could you remind me, maybe, how much I owe him? I have to do my best in his name, after failing him when he needed me most. And if he... starts looking too much tense or anything, maybe... maybe it's... it'd be better just to drop the topic. I don't think it's an easy conversation to have.

[Kelsey?! His proper given name is Kelsey? She didn't know that!!

Of course, that small surprise quickly takes a backseat as she listens attentively. Hearing that Sunny didn't leave his house for 4 years is a big shock. She didn't know that! What happened? Did his anxiety get the better of him? Or was is something else?

For Sunny to have lost his eye due to another friend's mental breakdown makes it so much worse. Just what had happened between all these young people for them to be so psychologically damaged? When Kel's stoy culminates in Sunny's apparent suicide and his own fatal failed attempt so save him, she hardly knows what to say... until he starts blaming himself for what happened.]

Kel, it's not your fault. That's simply not true. You sacrificed your own life trying to save Sunny, and the outcome was out of your control. You did all you could.

[If she remembered the memory she gave up for a safe Crossing, she'd feel like a hypocrite saying these things - but she can't remember the crushing guilt of having forsaken her people for the sake of the outside world, and that allows her to speak clearly and calmly.]

I don't know what caused them - Sunny and your mutual friend - to have been in such a bad state of mind, but I don't want you to blame yourself for what happened.

[Well, it's not like he ever really uses his real full name. It's just something that kind of... happens when he's trying to be overly silly. If he wanted to go over the top, he'd even add the middle name, but that was merely a jest to amuse Frieda a bit and... make things a bit less tense, at least for himself.

Sunny will end up hating him for sharing so much, he can already tell, but... he doesn't think he's good enough to keep the other safe. And Mari is there too, which... certainly adds a lot of feelings to the plate. He may not remember she used to be his brother's special person, but she still is family.

The teen brings one hand to his chest, his voice cracking just a bit.]

But it is! I keep saying I'm so fast, so strong, and I couldn't be fast when it mattered! He was hurt, he lost blood, he lost one eye, he was probably... so confused! So lost! And I should have been there for him!

[He knows Sunny took his own life, yet it feels more... right if he pretends to believe otherwise. No one else needs to know how deeply that whole mess went.]

I- I have a vague idea but it doesn't matter. That being said. It... it also doesn't matter how I feel. What matters is- how much of this does Sunny even remember? Did he lose a memory before crossing or not? We're the.... as far as I know we're maybe the only two who can control each other's memories- [He still doesn't know about Nagito and Makoto] And I'm too much of a coward to.... ask.

[If nothing else, Frieda is good at keeping secrets - the one about the truth of her world, she took to her grave. (Now, of course, over half her fellow souls here know.)

Hearing Kel's denial about Sunny's suicide steepens her frown, but she doesn't say anything. What good would it do to force him to confront it? Besides, on some level, he must know. He's smart and perceptive. Chances are it's simply too painful to face.

His mention of him and Sunny being the only two who can control each other's memories confused her. What does he mean, "control"? That aside, though, the way he believes that his feelings don't matter in the face of assessing what Sunny remembers... that reminds her of herself, back when she was 15. "Leave it to me, father! I won't give in to the ghosts of our ancestors!"

She'll get back to the plan, but she simply needs to address it.]

...

Kel, I don't say this to be cruel to you, but if you always saw yourself as fast and strong, as the one who'll save the day, and then you couldn't do it in the end, then maybe you weren't as fast and strong as you thought. I made the same mistake. I thought I could save everyone, back home. I thought I'd be stronger than my uncle and grandfather had been, and... I wasn't. I failed in a much worse way than you did. So please, don't blame yourself for failing. Blame yourself for taking on more than you could handle, if you must blame yourself for something.

[If he could remember, he'd know why her words hurt even more than he would expect them to. He has always been the brother who wasn't 'good enough', at least according to the family. Hero was the perfect one, Hero was the wonderful prodigy of the family, Hero was the handsome one between them while Kel's aunts commented about his scruffy looks- he was the one 'not good enough', he had always been. And while memories were gone, the feelings still klingered.

As for control- more like 'check with each other' since as far as Kel knew? They arrived there together, they died together- like the besties they were, at least in his mind, always supposed to be. And Sunny didn't give him any indication that they weren't from the same.. time. Or world.]

Ah...

[He did force a smile back on his face. They weren't distant enough fro the meeting for him to drop his guard, but for someone right in front of im the bitterness was clear in his expression.]

All I hear then is that I have to become stronger. I must protect him now, Frieda. And his sister too. If I'm not the strongest now, I'll become strong enough now- and protect them as long as my memory allows me to. [It hurts, it hurts and it hurts facing her words and knowing she's right, but what else could he even do or think?] I'm... sorry you had to deal with something similar. I really am. I'm sure you tried your best, Frieda, you've been nothing but a good person around this place and group.

[His take-away from her admonishment impresses her: Rather than acknowledge that he took on too much, he simply resolves to grow strong enough to fulfill his self-chosen duty here in the afterlife. Seeing that for her, that option is out of reach - after all, her people aren't here with her - fills her with envy for a moment, but at his kind words, she lowers her eyes, humbled.]

Thank you. But...

["I'm not a good person", she wants to correct, but wouldn't that be a slap in the faces of Sunny and Mari and everyone else who learned of her horrible secret and still kept seeing the good in her, focusing on her intent rather than the outcome that had already been set in stone a century ago? She sadly shakes her head.]

My ambition is forever out of reach now. So instead, let me support yours. I'll help you look out for Mari and Sunny, if you allow. You're right - they're still here for you to protect. All is not lost.

[Not yet, in any case. It is as Kel said: Who knows how long their memories will remain? But perhaps they'd still support and protect each other if they all became strangers. After all, that was the situation for most of them here from the outset.]

Edited 2025-03-06 19:35 (UTC)

[What should he even do? There's nothing impressive there, if you ask him: he messed up, he wasn't good enough, but crying over it instead of just trying to be better... it wouldn't help anyone. She's the one who knows how they died and he will probably not share it again unless something forces him to.

Instead he steps closer, bringing his hands to her shoulders should she allow the contact.]

Then build new ones. I know we're in a difficult situation, but where a dream ends, we can build another if the old one is unreachable, right? [Too positive? too much. he knows that. But he's trying his best and he can't sound too smart.] I'm sorry your ambitions are out of reach now, but I'm certain your efforts were not for naugh. For what it's worth... thank you for trying your best.

[He knows nothing of titans or such, but he has the most positive impression of her and... he would rather *not* dimish her efforts. that being said, perhaps he can give her some extra motivation by accepting her help in this?]

Well- [A wink and a smile as he forces his own distress down.] I would love to have a person like you 'on the case' so to speak. I'm not... good at protecting them. The fact they're here is proof of that. But... I'm at least good at working with other people.

[His hands on her shoulders are comforting, but his words, encouraging as they're meant to be, make her lower her head. What dream could live up to the one she dreamed as a child, the one of freedom for her people?

When he expresses his certainty that she did her best, she shakes her head. Her efforts were for naught - that's what makes it so crushing, the knowledge that nothing changed during her reign and nothing will change now, after her death, because one of her siblings is sure to have succeeded her and fallen to their ancestor's vow just as she did. (Of course, that delusion is still easier to stomach than the now-forgotten truth.)]

I can't build a new dream so easily, not on the ruins of the last one. It was a big dream, you know? A dream for a whole nation. So for now, just let me support you.

[Soft as her voice is, she realises that her rejection of his encouragement must be dismaying. Alas, right now, she can't offer him more.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Post Crossing Meeting

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject