thecrossing | Handwritten cursive in your notebooks

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pathologic: daniil dankovsky

Handwritten cursive in your notebooks

As much as I am loathe to admit it, we will have to move on from what small bits of safety and comfort this place has brought us. I do believe we should discuss our plans for the coming crossing openly. Consider this a place to drop your thoughts on the idea. Might as well start planning earlier rather than later.

Unless you have a good reason to I strongly suggest that you do not take the crossing alone. There is safety in numbers.

I would like to also get a head count of who all is with us if possible. I have heard about some of us going missing and I find this rather disturbing so I find it pertinent to double check.

The floor is open.

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Safety is in numbers and I agree but I also think we're losing out on clues if no one stays behind. I'm not good at planning, though. I'm going to check Sunny and Mari. That's three of us anyway. As for the missing people, do we perhaps know anything they had in common? Yashiro was very nice and warm, Makoto seemed to be the same even if I barely saw him around...

[OH, how his view will change istantly as soon as he relizes Mari went missing too.]

As someone who has stayed behind everytime it's too much of a risk and has never played to our advantage.

[ Which he hates admitting, admitting his own failures, but he's doing it. ]

I don't know if personality traits count as things in common. Usually we're looking at things like gender, age, connections to each other, but all of those leads are meaningless as Yashiro and Makoto have nothing in common except for that we all knew each other. Which. That is expected in a place like this.

I am painfully aware of that. I tried to stay behind the first time and it was- unpleasant. But there has to be something more than embracing oblivion, right?

[He crossed his arms before humming a couple of times and trying to see if I could add anything.]

WELL. I can't think of much else they had in common either. Maybe we can ask Nagito and Hanako about it, though? They knew them well.

I do remember that. I don't know if there is more or if it's worth anyone staying behind. The fact that we have a choice to begin with does make me wonder. I suppose if the ferryman really wanted they could just take a memory by force and make us join them.

[ It's worth considering, at least, why the Ferryman gave choices. Perhaps another conversation with them was in order. ]

I think asking Nagito and Hanako more about them is a wonderful idea. Can I leave that task up to you?

[ Mostly because Dankovsky knows Kel gets along with everyone, unlike the Bachelor himself, lmao. ]

They said memories have to been willingly given, so maybe that's a limitation on their part? I know I have zero faith in them, too much not being said when we're a bunch of ghosts being forced to travel from stupid place to stupider place. Not to add all the unsad things about who was here before, we're clearly not the first ones dealing with this journey...

[He wrinkled his nose.]

I can try, yes. I think they both can see we're talking about them anyway, right? So if there are things in common between the people who are gone- maybe we can find a way to prevent it from happening? Maybe they all searched for something or tried something or who even knows...

[ The word ghosts feels like a knife in Dankovsky's heart. So everyone really does believe that, don't they... He's the only one with hope still. Even it if makes no logical sense. But none of this does. ]

Good deceiving, my boy. I think you're onto something there. The Ferryman is not all powerful, then.

All certainly possibilities. Together we can make some sense of this mess, I know we can.

[Kel remembers dying, Don. He's one of the people who may have a most lucid vision of it because he was mentally there when he fell and he saw it coming. He never expected to survive it. He wishes he could be as optimistic as the doctor, but...]

It never felt like they were, honestly. I just don't understand their motives and I just don't believe in this 'helpful spirit' stuff.

Yeah. We just have limited time because if we keep losing our real life we will eventually... not even remember where we're from or why we try to keep things together.

I also have a very big question: the ferryman said we cannot pay with memories from here. So what happens once all our memories are gone? Are we just denied... to cross?

I don't either. Though I think if they were to kill us outright they would have done so a lot sooner.

[ Dankovsky remembers his own death too ok. Denial is a strong pill. ]

We continue to cross and burn through memories. We must be going somewhere. Perhaps when all of our memories are gone, that is when we will get to somewhere safe.

[ This is too optimistic, even for him. Dankovsky thinks Kel might be right, that once they run out of memories, perhaps they'll just become another wraith. But he's not going to share that morose thought with Kel. ]

Well, hard to kill what's already dead. I can't remember the last time I checked and found my own pulse. And out of actually talking I think I stopped breathing a while ago, it's like even instincts of 'living' are fading on my part. I doubt they can do much worse, right?

[A pause, there. He's going to say what Dan is not bringing up. Because that's what Kel started fearing from their very first crossing.]

Considering we keep losing and traveling in places where people seem to be just 'gone'? I wouldn't be surprised if there's nowhere really safe and we're just delaying the inevitable. Which is why I think we need to have at least a few people not doing what the Ferryman wants us to.

I refuse to let Mari and Sunny turn into those... things without putting up a good fight.

[ He feels something inside of him break. Hopelessness floods over him. Dankovsky has to figure out how to prove that they're all still alive, somehow, he just has to. ]

Why does everyone still believe we are dead? Nothing here makes any sense.

[ This writing looks more frantic. ]

I don't know. But I don't want you amongst the people who are staying behind. I will do so in your stead.

It's not really rocket science, man... I remember dying. Yes, this doesn't match any of my religious beliefs, but I couldn't possibly survive what killed me and another person. Plus, I do tend to get very cold until I stop thinking 'wait, my skin should be warm'.

[There's a blink, there. It takes Kel a bit to type his reoply on the brick of a device he got.]

Why? I'm no one for and I'm the fast one. I promise I will be fine. I just wish I had some clues on what to investigate.

[ He's sighing at his book. Almost unsure of what to write. Did everyone but him remember dying so clearly? To him, it was a blur, he remembers a gunshot, falling over, someone apologizing and running away, and then- ]

Because I cannot continue to allow the ones who should be protected to take on all the burden.

[ It's because you're a child, Kel. He's treating you like you're a child. ]

[Kel wishes he didn't- but it's something he can't get out of his mind instead.]

Sunny and Mari should be protected. I don't need that, really.

[He doesn't deserve that after failing to protect Sunny to begin with. He may have died as well but- between not remembering why he thinks he isn't '''good enough''' in so many ways (thanks, family) and his guilt? Kel isn't being too kind to himself.]

Maybe you could keep an eye on them for me? I know I am asking this to everyone, but they mean everything to me.

Of course I will, but, you know, those two people would want you to be safe as well. You deserve the same amount of care.

[ Hypocritical, that it's Dankovsky being the one to write this, but damnit Kel he's not just going to let you talk about yourself like that. ]

I am aware but...

[There's a little voice in his head saying 'you are not as good as-' and it's so similar to his parents' that Kel for a moment has to push it back.]

I am a bit rougher around the edges than them. I will be fine and I promise I don't need protection. An ally when we'll eventually reach our 'time to run for our dear life' time of the crossing though...

[Nagito reads every single post on the network, naturally, so here he is. Replying to Kel, because it sounds to Nagito like Kel is the one assigned to this task.]

Naegi-sama is hopeful above all else. He believes in other people and that belief makes everyone around him better. Of course it does, because who wouldn't want to do their best with that sort of hope shining right next to you? From what I know of Yashiro-san, she has a similar sort of faith in people. Of course it isn't as strong as Naegi-sama's, but no normal person could compare to him. Maybe you could call it being too trusting, but that's just how hope is!

[He's calling them both naive but he doesn't actually want to say that directly about Makoto, basically.]

Yashiro-san and Naegi-sama were both from Japan, though not the same Japan. I don't know if that's relevant, though!

Edited 2025-07-28 21:44 (UTC)

I really, really hope that 'Japanese' isn't a defining part of this. Mari and Sunny are part japanese and I don't know what I'd do if either of them went missing.

[It would be horrible, wouldn't it?]

So both... people who look at people in a positive way? Trusting? I'm not sure that will help a lot but we do appreciate your input, Nagito. Maybe we'll find out more, eventually?

"Japanese" would be very, strangely specific, but I thought it would be best to point it out just in case. Still, even if those are the recent ones, it isn't as if everyone who's ever disappeared is Japanese. For earlier disappearances, Shepard-san and Naegi-sama both disappeared and reappeared once before.

Which could mean they'll show up yet again!

[It has to mean that.]

Well, I have, like, nothing to do with japan so if I ever go missing you can toss that out of the window. My family is from Mexico, actually, so... yeah. And... true. Did they say where they were? WELL, yeah! We gotta keep the hope alive, right?

I’m curious what sorts of clues you might be thinking. During the last Crossing, there really wasn’t much aside from the danger… oh, and that wraith watching us!

[Hanako isn’t one to dissuade Kel from his course; he’s pretty sure the older boy wouldn’t really listen. Seeing Yashiro’s name has him quiet as he contemplates how to answer.]

It does seem like they had some similar personality traits, didn’t it? Yashiro… she’s naive, clumsy, and hopeful, but… those can be strengths too. Especially in comparison.

There HAS to be something more than 'We need to keep walking and losing our memories'. Maybe clues on what happened to those who were here before or clues about what the wraiths are- after all, they change and shift when the crossing begins.

[He stops for a moment, feeling sad to hear that... well, he has to force Hanako to speak about her. If it was Mari or Sunny missing, he knows he would be devastated.]

Yeah. There are some personality traits in common. And you say naive and clumsy but those aren't bad things. Naive? A bit, yes, but she also sounded incredibly kind of the little I spoke with her. It wasn't a common trait of my fellow teenagers in Faraway. Clumsy? Who isn't? And hopeful... that's something important here, isn't it? Ah, sorry, I'm probably not making much sense.

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